Where Am I Holding Back?

Living authentically is liberating but can be a challenge for most people. This exercise is intended to help you identify where you’re not living honestly with your heart and imagine your life if you did. You’ll explore best and worst-case scenarios, test the waters, and objectively observe the outcomes.

Instructions:

  1. Grab paper and a pen, preferably a journal or a notepad. (When we physically write down our thoughts, we create distance, and it’s easier to be objective.)
  2. Find a quiet place free of distractions.
  3. Set aside at least ten minutes for this exercise, but leave room for more.
  4. Think about different areas of your life and explore where you might be holding back. It could be not doing something you really want or doing something you really don’t.
  5. Go through the list below, and feel free to add more areas. See what bubbles up rather than trying to think of the answer. You’re trying to tap into your heart and soul, not your guessing brain.

Areas of My Life to Consider

  • Work
  • Friendships
  • Romantic Relationships
  • Personal Interests
  • Family
  • Neighbors
  • Community
  • Habits & Routines

Where I Am Holding Back

  1. Identify areas where you are not being authentic and describe those situations in detail.
  2. For each one, write down what your heart says to do and what your mind says to do.
  3. Then ask, “What’s the worst thing that could happen if I said or did things more honestly in that situation?”
  4. Then ask, “What’s the best thing that could happen if I said or did things more honestly in that situation?”

My Best Moments

  1. Identify some moments in your life when you felt the most authentic and alive.
  2. Then ask the following questions:
  3. “How did it feel to fully be and express myself in that moment?”
  4. “How could my life be different if this was the norm and not the exception?”
  5. “How could this affect my relationship with others or myself?”
  6. “Could my life improve?”
  7. “Could I have better relationships or even find new ones?”
  8. “Could I have a better relationship with myself?”
  9. “Could I pursue different activities in my life?”
  10. Cast your mind wide and explore all of the possibilities and see what resonates with your heart.

Action: Review & Take Small Steps

  1. Identify a few areas in your life where following your heart and being authentic could create the most positive impact.
  2. For each area you’ve chosen, think of one small, immediate action you can take that isn’t too dramatic or disruptive. Start slow.
  3. Write each action down and be specific about every detail. This is like a rehearsal before you step on stage.
  4. Take that action and objectively observe what happens.

I think you’ll find that your worst fears aren’t as bad as you guessed and that stepping more into your authenticity improves your life. That said, this is a journey, not flipping a switch. Living honestly from the heart will bring ups and downs, but as you continue, your life will feel more like your own rather than someone else’s. 


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