This conversation is so meaningful and powerful because it dives deep into shame and vulnerability, which affects nearly every single one of us. Many people I have had open conversations with express, much as I felt for most of my life, that something is wrong with them, that they have not become the person they want to be, and that there is always something to work on. Striving for excellence is lovely, but when we carry around this baggage that we are not worthy, well, that’s a heavy burden to endure, and I believe it causes us to not live up to our fullest potential.
Listen to the entire conversation for full context, which can be found here.
See more information about this amazing guest, Brené Brown, on her website.
Also, check out Brené’s home run TED Talk on the TED website.
My 6 favorite quotes from the conversation:
“To me, I don’t know how you were raised, and how the listeners were raised, but I was raised to believe that vulnerability is weakness; that you wake up in the morning, you armor up, you go out into the day, you kick some ass, you don’t let people see your emotions, you mitigate uncertainty and risk as much as you can, and that’s the way you live.”
Brené Brown
“From the very earliest stages of my research… vulnerability emerged as not weakness, but probably our best measure of courage.”
Brené Brown
“The simplest definition for vulnerability is really uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Vulnerability is about the willingness to show up and be seen when you have zero control over the outcome.”
Brené Brown
“Shame is a very formidable foe. Shame is this intensely, painful, belief, or experience, that something is wrong with us, that we are flawed and that we are unworthy of love and belonging.”
Brené Brown
“The thing about shame that makes it so difficult is it needs three things to thrive in our lives. If you put shame in a petri dish and you douse it with secrecy, silence, and judgement, it grows exponentially.”
Brené Brown
“What I learned in the research was that perfectionism is very outwardly defined. It’s dictated by what will people think. And healthy striving is dictated, or striving for excellence, is internally motivated… I think perfectionism is this twenty ton shield that we carry around and it’s a defense mechanism, classically, that just says ‘If I live perfect, love perfect, work perfect, and accomplish perfectly, I can reduce or minimize shame, blame, criticism, and judgement’.”
Brené Brown
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